Overcompensating

This is a natural progression from the last two columns because my emphasis tends to lean more towards adjusting behavior to make the strongest changes in our lives. Remember my mantra. “You can’t think yourself into acting right, but you can act your way into thinking right.”

As we think about overstating, overcompensating is in the same family.

There are some very legitimate reasons people overcompensate. I am thinking of “over-correcting” when your car begins to slide out of control on ice, or if an oncoming driver crosses into your lane. You may react in a panic and overcompensate to avoid the danger. Often this over-correcting or overcompensating introduces new and different dangers.

If your home has been broken into, those who have not had the same experience may think you are overcompensating when you get an alarm, video surveillance, electric fencing, street lights all around your property, mace, a gun, and hire your own security company to patrol your driveway and yard. I’m being facetious, but you get the point. Some of our overcompensating is legitimate.

A few more examples are with someone who has been in an abusive relationship of any kind. They may opt to never get into another relationship or friendship. They may choose to never get married. Look at all of the benefits of life they miss out on. Someone who has been misled or hurt by their church may opt out of ever connecting with a church body again. Someone who lost a loved one too soon, or at the hands or wheel of another person may become angry with God and cut off that relationship. This overcompensating to insulate from hurt again may seem legitimate, but will ultimately be more harmful in the long run.

Fear of being unprepared or not measuring up may cause some to become lifetime students, never venturing out into the career world.

If you find yourself overcompensating in a way that is unhealthy, stop, think about the situation rationally, weigh the pros and cons, and find a balanced approach.